// The devil in the wishing well

MSN just died on me so there's no way of being online tonight. How perfect.

So I was thinking about what Jing, Wanxian and I were talking about for 5 hours in Jing's place a few weeks ago. The fact that the gang is slowly but surely dispersing is very disturbing, but inevitable I guess. The group is just too big, and all the guys ever care about is DOTA, WoW and what not. Hence, hopes of engaging in a conversation with them that doesn't involve gaming is virtually non-existent.

Take today for example. Wanxian and I skipped school to met the rest at KAP in the morning and had breakfast. Spent the whole time listening to our iPods and staring into blank space because the guys were babbling on earnestly about their computer games and being completely oblivious to their surroundings, let alone us.

As afternoon rolled by, Wanxian and I headed off for town. Four hours of non-stop window shopping was definitely more fruitful than gazing at a TV screen playing God-knows-what-action RPG-game in JQ's house.

I'm not complaining, by the way. Just making an observation.

---

Now on to something more disturbing. Over the past year, I've evolved to become an evil person.

Let's just say I do not deserve even half of whatever kindness they've shown towards me. When I sink into depression, they always find a way to cheer me up even though they may not know what the fuck's wrong with me. And we all know that there're some things which are better left unsaid. Likewise in my case.

Another thing. I realised I am very good in hiding my emotions (i.e. feelings for a certain somebody). Sometimes too good; to the extent I get hurt and the person doesn't even know about it. And then I vent my frustrations on everyone, not expecting anyone to understand and yet crying out for help. How retarded.

That's all my shit summarised in 2 paragraphs. If only life was that simple eh?

---

Oh wow MSN's finally working. Time to put on the facade again. Or I just might make a confession. Lalala SEE HOW LAH. :D

---

{edit}

Believe me - I'd tell you if I could. But I really can't at the moment.

Because that person is you.

{/edit}

// The devil in the wishing well

MSN just died on me so there's no way of being online tonight. How perfect.

So I was thinking about what Jing, Wanxian and I were talking about for 5 hours in Jing's place a few weeks ago. The fact that the gang is slowly but surely dispersing is very disturbing, but inevitable I guess. The group is just too big, and all the guys ever care about is DOTA, WoW and what not. Hence, hopes of engaging in a conversation with them that doesn't involve gaming is virtually non-existent.

Take today for example. Wanxian and I skipped school to met the rest at KAP in the morning and had breakfast. Spent the whole time listening to our iPods and staring into blank space because the guys were babbling on earnestly about their computer games and being completely oblivious to their surroundings, let alone us.

As afternoon rolled by, Wanxian and I headed off for town. Four hours of non-stop window shopping was definitely more fruitful than gazing at a TV screen playing God-knows-what-action RPG-game in JQ's house.

I'm not complaining, by the way. Just making an observation.

---

Now on to something more disturbing. Over the past year, I've evolved to become an evil person.

Let's just say I do not deserve even half of whatever kindness they've shown towards me. When I sink into depression, they always find a way to cheer me up even though they may not know what the fuck's wrong with me. And we all know that there're some things which are better left unsaid. Likewise in my case.

Another thing. I realised I am very good in hiding my emotions (i.e. feelings for a certain somebody). Sometimes too good; to the extent I get hurt and the person doesn't even know about it. And then I vent my frustrations on everyone, not expecting anyone to understand and yet crying out for help. How retarded.

That's all my shit summarised in 2 paragraphs. If only life was that simple eh?

---

Oh wow MSN's finally working. Time to put on the facade again. Or I just might make a confession. Lalala SEE HOW LAH. :D

---

{edit}

Believe me - I'd tell you if I could. But I really can't at the moment.

Because that person is you.

{/edit}