// Above the wreckage

I did it.

I made you hate me so ending this won't be so hard and painful for the both of us.

Whatever happens now will lie in God's hands.

Amen.

// One more try?

Okay. Let's see what you've got.

And if God wants it this way, and considering the fact that I have given up my life to Him and not you...

Sure thing. (:

// Perfection through silence

Went for CG today and didn't regret it one bit. (: Thanks Central B for surprising me with my belated birthday cake seriously I didn't expect to see a 'Z'-shaped butter cake topped with M&M's in front of my face after prayers. :D

Fellowship thereafter was great too. Bonded with Sin Yee (zomg we had some stupid hilarious brisk-walking competition outside SMU while walking from Cityhall to Cuppage), Grace and June hahaha they are very funny people.

Played 3-people pool where we each take 5 balls and we're supposed to kill the other 10 and the person whose balls are left surviving on the pool table wins. I forgot the name; maybe it's cut-throat hees.

And omg YK is my new-found best friend HAHAHA. I dunno why's he so sad though it's like how honourable to be acknowledged by me please. (Y)

Oh by the way the nasi lemak at Meridian food court is DAMN NICE AND CHEAP. And the uncle gives extra rice for FREE yum.

Took the bus back with Joel. Very nice and understanding sec 1, though damn rowdy at times. And he loves to break people's fingers by tricking them into playing a "game".

Great day today. Thank God. (:

// Our finest year

I'm beginning to wish I never fell in love with you because now when I finally summon the will to break away, I realise that this is all a trap I can never escape because if I let you go, you will kill yourself and there's no way I'm allowing that to happen. For now.

I'm this close to breaking down and forgetting what I had in the past - a normal, happy life. So thanks a lot for changing me into someone I have no idea of anymore.

// Best.

Girls

Skinny jeans -
Wear if your thighs fill out, i.e when you stand straight with your feet together, there isn't any gap in between the thighs, and if your calves aren't huge.

Hotpants -
Apparently the new trend, wear if you have nice legs, period. If your legs are little on the large side, it's fine, but for gods sake don't if you have skinny thighs (meaning the legs don't fill out the shorts at all)

Short skirts/miniskirts -
Cut off at least an inch or two above the knee. Anything longer is disgusting. Too short and it'll look slutty, so unless you ARE slutty, don't. Personally I think faded denim and soft cloth works for the most people.

Dresses/long skirts -
Longer skirts (i.e, close to the ankles) can look VERY stylish, if you know how to pick the colour and design. Otherwise, don't bother or you risk looking like a moron.

Capri pants -
Wear if you have nice calves and long legs.

Guys

I don't quite care what you guys wear. Personally I like tapered pants and jeans from brands like Atticus, Dickies, Espirit, Zara, Levis, Quiksilver, Volcom and more expensive brands that I can't afford looking at currently. I wear slim fit tees for that punk/indie culture look. I also LOVE face piercings and hope to get a few (eyebrow, lip) by the year end or around new years. Yum.

I hate baggy pants / tees with a passion. Hate them more if they have straps hanging all around and have plaid patterns.

Oh I love shoes too, really, really love shoes. Have 7 pairs myself and still growing the collection. :D My journey goes something like this:
2 Nike Dunks > Lacoste L33 > some brown leather Converses > pelt Vans Slipons > Lakai (American skate brand) Manchesters > Macbeth Eliots. I'm in love with the eliots and will probably get a few more. :D

Last tip on stripped tees/polos, fat horizontal stripes if you have a long body, or you'll look short. Thin horizontal if you're normal. For both thin and fat stripes. Horizontal stripes tend to make people look wider, so beware if you already have broad shoulders. Fat vertical stripes just look weird.

---

I don't know who you are anymore.

// :D :D :D

IT'S ZEL'S BIRTHDAY TODAY WOOHOO. (Y)

To all my loveable bright bunnies who wished me yesterday and today, THANKS SO VERY MUCH KEKEZ. Kach, Roy and Kalai best, announce on MSN by putting it as their personal messages. Love love!

If there's one thing nicer than presents, it's people taking those few precious seconds off their busy schedules to say something nice to someone else. (:

Anyway went to church yesterday. Loved the sermon; it's great to see my ancient notebook for taking down sermon notes filling up again haha.

Left halfway during fellowship cos I felt kinda weird all of a sudden. /= I wasn't exactly tired but I wasn't in the best of moods sigh. Stayed over at Liak's after that and became better (duh). :D

Anyway I'm seriously suffering from South Park withdrawal symptoms leh shit. ): I'm in the middle of Season 9 and the freaking thing had to disappear wahlao. I sooooooo need someone to get me Season 9 and 10 now before I leave for States. ): ): ):

However I'm watching Futurama now and it's not bad haha. Though South Park > everything else. ):

// Coital improv

WOOHOO I'VE GOT MAH NEW LAPTOP IT'S A FREAKING MACBOOK PRO EAT THAT YOU LOSERS. xD xD xD

Damn pretty right teehee.

So I went to study with Sam, Chiang and Huey yesterday. Super duper productive I love my platoonmates to the max hahaha. Had damn a lot of fun insulting Sam and laughing at Chiang and random people ahhhhhhhhhhhh I must go out with them more often.

Oh and I had piano for like ONE HOUR today only cause I was playing around with my MacBook and it was raining and I felt damn lazy to go out hahaha. Rocks.

Went over to Liak's and had dinner and watched the 9pm show on Channel 8. I think Alan Wu dies in the next episode or something lol. If real life in Singapore was this drama, all these chinese serials would've been put out of business already.

Okay I have to like do my EE and TOK real soon since I'm leaving for LA/Vegas/Whistler on 9 December and only coming back 21 days after. And on top of that Karen's gonna load me with Math homework. Plus there are books to buy for English A1 and omg WORLD LIT ESSAY and we're supposed to know about Econs IA #3 though B.Low happily abandoned us the last week before EOYs.

AND RAPE THE WEB TOTALLY REMOVED ALL THE SOUTH PARK VIDEOS OH MAH GOD DAILYMOTION ALSO DON'T HAVE, HOW I FINISH WATCHING BEFORE I LEAVE SINGAPORE.

This sucks donkey balls. ): ): ):

Omg you know what I just realised it's just two more days to my birthday. And I think I have just about everything I can possibly wish for right now so I have no idea what I want HAHAHA.

Oh but if some kind soul will *ahem ahem* do my TOK essay for me I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER I PROMISE. (x

// Silhouette serenade

Have you ever imagined how it'll be like when someone you loved died suddenly and somehow no one knows how he had died? You'd spend the next few months in denial and bewilderment, not grief and sadness because you'd be wondering how he managed to vanish off the face of this world without anyone's knowledge, and how can God be so cruel as to take him away from you.

And then there's a catch. Jesus came to you and allowed you ten minutes with that person every day provided you can't ask him about his death. He would come back as a mute too, so all you two can do is cuddle and cry together with tears of happiness, familiarity and probably sorrow. That person would appear in a fixed place, say, from under your toilet sink and you've got to be there waiting for him lest that would be the last time he'd come to visit.

Every day.

For twenty minutes.

Until the day you can't take the ignorance of his death with his daily visits as a living reminder; when this miraculous privilege becomes absolute excruciating torture, or when you realise that you don't need him anymore.

I had a dream about this yesterday night. Fortunately or not, I woke up after Visit #2 where I was still in shock and denial, so I didn't have to find out how everything ended.

I think it's time to stop sleeping at 3am every night. Hahaha.

// In lieu of dead brides

Zomg Rape the Web exceeded its bandwidth and CLOSED DOWN. Dx This is TERRIBLE now I have to find other alternatives to continue watching South Park ie. going to Dailymotion and painstakingly search for the videos one by one. ): ): ):

But no matter I'm still a very happy girl 'cause I went on a downloading spree yesterday and now have Audioslave's "Out of Exile", System of a Down's "Mesmerize", Prodigy's "Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned", and Vendetta Red's "Sisters of the Red Death".

Hees. :D

ANYWAY VENDETTA RED OWNS GO GET THEIR CD OR SOMETHING, THEN LEND ME 'CAUSE I'M MISSING TWO SONGS BY THEM KEKEZ.

Or you could get their cd for me as a birthday present since my birthday's only 9 days away. Yeah I think that's better hahaha.

Alright it's super late and I just finished South Park season 6, AND completed all my Math homework at JE library today even though Karen just cancelled my lesson for tomorrow morning 'cause she's sick.

Here's to a real productive Friday. :D

// Drunks, lovers, sinners and saints

It's so amazing when a relationship becomes deeper and more meaningful after a massive quarrel and when things start to look up and everything seems perfect at that moment in time, where you truly believe your loved one and you will last for a really long time. (:

Anyways. Geog re-exam sucked donkey ballz today; I realised that I misread the question only just before handing my paper up lmaoz. And I kinda gave up on studying for Econs and Chem cause there're hell lot of nice shows on teevee today hahaha.

I'm meeting some of my favourite platoonmates tomorrow in Crescent. We're gonna teach cadets PDS hees. :D I miss NCC so damn much; haha shut up I really do okay.

QUIZ

Yesterday
01/ I saw: Kalai, Liak, family.
02/ I spoke on the phone with: Maid, Mom, Liak, Kalai, Jasmine.
03/ I smsed: Liak, Kalai... Lazy to scroll down hees. :D
04/ Friendster messaged: No one.

Today
01/ I'm wearing: Finding Nemo nightgown. (Y)
02/ Was better than yesterday?: Like hell no? I had Geog re-exam and am supposed to be studying for Chem and Econs for tomorrow and haven't touched anything but my teevee remote control.

Tomorrow
01/ Will be: Horrible day from 8am - 12.30pm, fun with Delta'05, then math tuition at night.
02/ I plan to: Pass the freaking re-exams without studying lol.
03/ I wish I could: Ditto.

Favourite
01/ Number: Dude. That's gay.
02/ Favourite colours(s): Everything that doesn't clash.
03/ Seasons: Autumn. (:

Currently
01/ Missing: Liakies. :@
02/ Feeling: Guilty but angry. Screw re-exams lah knnnnnn.

FAQs
First thing you did this morning: Changed pad. Screw mensus too.
Last thing you ate: What dyou call that overly-sweet multi-colour hoop-shaped cornflakes ah.
Are you bothered by anything right now?: Yes.
What's annoying you right now?: Mensus and re-exams.
What's the last movie you saw?: MATERIAL GIRLS WTF.
Do you believe in long distance relationships?: I'll find out in about 2 year's time. ):
Is there a person on your mind right now: Yeah duh.
Do you think that a person is thinking of you too?: Like duh I'm not superZEL for nothing. (x
Where was the last place you went?: Toilet.
Do you look like your mummy or daddy?: Your mother lah.
Do you have any pets?: I have a tortise I think. I haven't seen it since last year though.
Do you smile often?: Of course!
Do you wish upon stars?: Zomg this is even more gay than the what's-your-favourite-number question.
Are you a friendly person?: Yeah everyone loves me.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night?: Yknow something? I've been sleeping on a mattress the past week because my dad went overseas and my retarded mom wants to save air-con so all of us tompang in her room every night. Sad, I know.
What colour shirt are you wearing?: White with two Nemos and coral reefs and seashells and bubbles and seaweed and a really big hole on the sleeve thanks to Rui LOL.
What were you doing at 12 last night?: Watching South Park.
Do you have more guy or girl friends?: Girl friends.
When was the last time you cried?: I don't want to remember.
Do you get angry easily?: That's relative.
What was your last thought before you went to sleep last night?: Screw mensus now I can't wank when I wanna humpf. :D
Take any vitamins?: Yes.
What are you about to do?: SHOULD I STUDY? I CAN'T EVEN DECIDE WHETHER I WANNA. Dx
Do you ever check your phone waiting for someone to call?: Don't be gay PLEASE?
Who was the last person who wrote this?: Bernice Chu.
Do you like the person?: Yeah she loves to hug me hees. :D
Rate your life on a scale of one to ten with ten being the fullest: Currently 6.5/10. It'll be better tomorrow. (:

Bye everyone, time to watch South Park! Season six already am I enthu, or am I enthu. :D

// Do I love you? Nah, not today.

Hi Mom,

I think you behaved in an extremely pathetic manner today. So you tell me that I can't stay over at my friend's house. Naturally, I asked why. The only thing you could come up with was that you didn't like it and it was a policy that we couldn't stay over at friends' places unless it was a chalet. Oh, you also threw in about my bad sleeping habits ie. waking up late that will cause my friends' parents to think that I'm a very discpicable person. Not everyone is a morning person like you, Mom. So stop thinking everyone's a bitch like you to judge someone's character on what time she gets up in the morning for Christ's sake.

And you know what's worse? The fact that you once told me that everything that happens for a reason and likewise, one must have a reasonable good explanation for his action, when you don't even practice what you preach. I asked you why I couldn't stay over and you conjure up some bullshit that didn't even make sense, let alone justify your decision. You know, if you had told me that it was because you were scared that (touch wood) my friend's dad/brother would get horny and rape me or something, I'd have accepted it. Just that my friend's dad left the country yesterday and yet you didn't allow me to go so there must be something more than that right? Are you hiding something from me, Mom?

Oh, and guess what, you DID tell me that was the reason a long time ago. So what if I tell my friend about it?Why must you get pissed and scold me for being so stupid for doing that? Has it ever hit you that your reason is so bizzare; that you're the stupid and unreasonable one? And that it made me angry that you can even possibly think that my friends' dads/brothers will act that way. You're a goddamn freak and a rightdown bitch. I can't believe I advised a friend who wanted to run away that her mom probably did stuff because she has reasons and that it was for her daughter's own good, and that if she'd just ask her why, she'd tell her. Now I take back my words because I realise even my own mother won't do it. Fuck.

The reason why you're pathetic? Because you can't even work things out with your own daughter. You have to call your husband who's working his ass off in another country and scream to him on the phone that his daughter's becoming stubborn and defiant and that you're going to have a nervous breakdown because of her. This is the fifth time you've done it and guess what, all of us know you're the one who's whacked and that we'd just have to endure all your moodswings. You don't know that your husband tells us to just control ourselves from fighting with you because you always want to win and we have to keep you happy just before he starts scolding us the way you want him to. Even the man you love knows your flaws but he's helpless in that department to change you because YOU are stubborn and always think you're right.

You know sometimes I really hope that everyone gives up on you and that my dad walks out of the house and we all follow just so we can prove that you can't win all the time. But it's too bad that I love you cause you're my mother. Looks like I'll have to restrain myself from screaming back at you whenever you start picking fights with me and just be satisfied with counting down the years when I can finally do what I want and when whatever you say will mean nothing but trash to me no more.

Sincerely yours,

Your god-forsaken daughter

// Above the wreckage

I did it.

I made you hate me so ending this won't be so hard and painful for the both of us.

Whatever happens now will lie in God's hands.

Amen.

// One more try?

Okay. Let's see what you've got.

And if God wants it this way, and considering the fact that I have given up my life to Him and not you...

Sure thing. (:

// Perfection through silence

Went for CG today and didn't regret it one bit. (: Thanks Central B for surprising me with my belated birthday cake seriously I didn't expect to see a 'Z'-shaped butter cake topped with M&M's in front of my face after prayers. :D

Fellowship thereafter was great too. Bonded with Sin Yee (zomg we had some stupid hilarious brisk-walking competition outside SMU while walking from Cityhall to Cuppage), Grace and June hahaha they are very funny people.

Played 3-people pool where we each take 5 balls and we're supposed to kill the other 10 and the person whose balls are left surviving on the pool table wins. I forgot the name; maybe it's cut-throat hees.

And omg YK is my new-found best friend HAHAHA. I dunno why's he so sad though it's like how honourable to be acknowledged by me please. (Y)

Oh by the way the nasi lemak at Meridian food court is DAMN NICE AND CHEAP. And the uncle gives extra rice for FREE yum.

Took the bus back with Joel. Very nice and understanding sec 1, though damn rowdy at times. And he loves to break people's fingers by tricking them into playing a "game".

Great day today. Thank God. (:

// Our finest year

I'm beginning to wish I never fell in love with you because now when I finally summon the will to break away, I realise that this is all a trap I can never escape because if I let you go, you will kill yourself and there's no way I'm allowing that to happen. For now.

I'm this close to breaking down and forgetting what I had in the past - a normal, happy life. So thanks a lot for changing me into someone I have no idea of anymore.

// Best.

Girls

Skinny jeans -
Wear if your thighs fill out, i.e when you stand straight with your feet together, there isn't any gap in between the thighs, and if your calves aren't huge.

Hotpants -
Apparently the new trend, wear if you have nice legs, period. If your legs are little on the large side, it's fine, but for gods sake don't if you have skinny thighs (meaning the legs don't fill out the shorts at all)

Short skirts/miniskirts -
Cut off at least an inch or two above the knee. Anything longer is disgusting. Too short and it'll look slutty, so unless you ARE slutty, don't. Personally I think faded denim and soft cloth works for the most people.

Dresses/long skirts -
Longer skirts (i.e, close to the ankles) can look VERY stylish, if you know how to pick the colour and design. Otherwise, don't bother or you risk looking like a moron.

Capri pants -
Wear if you have nice calves and long legs.

Guys

I don't quite care what you guys wear. Personally I like tapered pants and jeans from brands like Atticus, Dickies, Espirit, Zara, Levis, Quiksilver, Volcom and more expensive brands that I can't afford looking at currently. I wear slim fit tees for that punk/indie culture look. I also LOVE face piercings and hope to get a few (eyebrow, lip) by the year end or around new years. Yum.

I hate baggy pants / tees with a passion. Hate them more if they have straps hanging all around and have plaid patterns.

Oh I love shoes too, really, really love shoes. Have 7 pairs myself and still growing the collection. :D My journey goes something like this:
2 Nike Dunks > Lacoste L33 > some brown leather Converses > pelt Vans Slipons > Lakai (American skate brand) Manchesters > Macbeth Eliots. I'm in love with the eliots and will probably get a few more. :D

Last tip on stripped tees/polos, fat horizontal stripes if you have a long body, or you'll look short. Thin horizontal if you're normal. For both thin and fat stripes. Horizontal stripes tend to make people look wider, so beware if you already have broad shoulders. Fat vertical stripes just look weird.

---

I don't know who you are anymore.

// :D :D :D

IT'S ZEL'S BIRTHDAY TODAY WOOHOO. (Y)

To all my loveable bright bunnies who wished me yesterday and today, THANKS SO VERY MUCH KEKEZ. Kach, Roy and Kalai best, announce on MSN by putting it as their personal messages. Love love!

If there's one thing nicer than presents, it's people taking those few precious seconds off their busy schedules to say something nice to someone else. (:

Anyway went to church yesterday. Loved the sermon; it's great to see my ancient notebook for taking down sermon notes filling up again haha.

Left halfway during fellowship cos I felt kinda weird all of a sudden. /= I wasn't exactly tired but I wasn't in the best of moods sigh. Stayed over at Liak's after that and became better (duh). :D

Anyway I'm seriously suffering from South Park withdrawal symptoms leh shit. ): I'm in the middle of Season 9 and the freaking thing had to disappear wahlao. I sooooooo need someone to get me Season 9 and 10 now before I leave for States. ): ): ):

However I'm watching Futurama now and it's not bad haha. Though South Park > everything else. ):

// Coital improv

WOOHOO I'VE GOT MAH NEW LAPTOP IT'S A FREAKING MACBOOK PRO EAT THAT YOU LOSERS. xD xD xD

Damn pretty right teehee.

So I went to study with Sam, Chiang and Huey yesterday. Super duper productive I love my platoonmates to the max hahaha. Had damn a lot of fun insulting Sam and laughing at Chiang and random people ahhhhhhhhhhhh I must go out with them more often.

Oh and I had piano for like ONE HOUR today only cause I was playing around with my MacBook and it was raining and I felt damn lazy to go out hahaha. Rocks.

Went over to Liak's and had dinner and watched the 9pm show on Channel 8. I think Alan Wu dies in the next episode or something lol. If real life in Singapore was this drama, all these chinese serials would've been put out of business already.

Okay I have to like do my EE and TOK real soon since I'm leaving for LA/Vegas/Whistler on 9 December and only coming back 21 days after. And on top of that Karen's gonna load me with Math homework. Plus there are books to buy for English A1 and omg WORLD LIT ESSAY and we're supposed to know about Econs IA #3 though B.Low happily abandoned us the last week before EOYs.

AND RAPE THE WEB TOTALLY REMOVED ALL THE SOUTH PARK VIDEOS OH MAH GOD DAILYMOTION ALSO DON'T HAVE, HOW I FINISH WATCHING BEFORE I LEAVE SINGAPORE.

This sucks donkey balls. ): ): ):

Omg you know what I just realised it's just two more days to my birthday. And I think I have just about everything I can possibly wish for right now so I have no idea what I want HAHAHA.

Oh but if some kind soul will *ahem ahem* do my TOK essay for me I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER I PROMISE. (x

// Silhouette serenade

Have you ever imagined how it'll be like when someone you loved died suddenly and somehow no one knows how he had died? You'd spend the next few months in denial and bewilderment, not grief and sadness because you'd be wondering how he managed to vanish off the face of this world without anyone's knowledge, and how can God be so cruel as to take him away from you.

And then there's a catch. Jesus came to you and allowed you ten minutes with that person every day provided you can't ask him about his death. He would come back as a mute too, so all you two can do is cuddle and cry together with tears of happiness, familiarity and probably sorrow. That person would appear in a fixed place, say, from under your toilet sink and you've got to be there waiting for him lest that would be the last time he'd come to visit.

Every day.

For twenty minutes.

Until the day you can't take the ignorance of his death with his daily visits as a living reminder; when this miraculous privilege becomes absolute excruciating torture, or when you realise that you don't need him anymore.

I had a dream about this yesterday night. Fortunately or not, I woke up after Visit #2 where I was still in shock and denial, so I didn't have to find out how everything ended.

I think it's time to stop sleeping at 3am every night. Hahaha.

// In lieu of dead brides

Zomg Rape the Web exceeded its bandwidth and CLOSED DOWN. Dx This is TERRIBLE now I have to find other alternatives to continue watching South Park ie. going to Dailymotion and painstakingly search for the videos one by one. ): ): ):

But no matter I'm still a very happy girl 'cause I went on a downloading spree yesterday and now have Audioslave's "Out of Exile", System of a Down's "Mesmerize", Prodigy's "Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned", and Vendetta Red's "Sisters of the Red Death".

Hees. :D

ANYWAY VENDETTA RED OWNS GO GET THEIR CD OR SOMETHING, THEN LEND ME 'CAUSE I'M MISSING TWO SONGS BY THEM KEKEZ.

Or you could get their cd for me as a birthday present since my birthday's only 9 days away. Yeah I think that's better hahaha.

Alright it's super late and I just finished South Park season 6, AND completed all my Math homework at JE library today even though Karen just cancelled my lesson for tomorrow morning 'cause she's sick.

Here's to a real productive Friday. :D

// Drunks, lovers, sinners and saints

It's so amazing when a relationship becomes deeper and more meaningful after a massive quarrel and when things start to look up and everything seems perfect at that moment in time, where you truly believe your loved one and you will last for a really long time. (:

Anyways. Geog re-exam sucked donkey ballz today; I realised that I misread the question only just before handing my paper up lmaoz. And I kinda gave up on studying for Econs and Chem cause there're hell lot of nice shows on teevee today hahaha.

I'm meeting some of my favourite platoonmates tomorrow in Crescent. We're gonna teach cadets PDS hees. :D I miss NCC so damn much; haha shut up I really do okay.

QUIZ

Yesterday
01/ I saw: Kalai, Liak, family.
02/ I spoke on the phone with: Maid, Mom, Liak, Kalai, Jasmine.
03/ I smsed: Liak, Kalai... Lazy to scroll down hees. :D
04/ Friendster messaged: No one.

Today
01/ I'm wearing: Finding Nemo nightgown. (Y)
02/ Was better than yesterday?: Like hell no? I had Geog re-exam and am supposed to be studying for Chem and Econs for tomorrow and haven't touched anything but my teevee remote control.

Tomorrow
01/ Will be: Horrible day from 8am - 12.30pm, fun with Delta'05, then math tuition at night.
02/ I plan to: Pass the freaking re-exams without studying lol.
03/ I wish I could: Ditto.

Favourite
01/ Number: Dude. That's gay.
02/ Favourite colours(s): Everything that doesn't clash.
03/ Seasons: Autumn. (:

Currently
01/ Missing: Liakies. :@
02/ Feeling: Guilty but angry. Screw re-exams lah knnnnnn.

FAQs
First thing you did this morning: Changed pad. Screw mensus too.
Last thing you ate: What dyou call that overly-sweet multi-colour hoop-shaped cornflakes ah.
Are you bothered by anything right now?: Yes.
What's annoying you right now?: Mensus and re-exams.
What's the last movie you saw?: MATERIAL GIRLS WTF.
Do you believe in long distance relationships?: I'll find out in about 2 year's time. ):
Is there a person on your mind right now: Yeah duh.
Do you think that a person is thinking of you too?: Like duh I'm not superZEL for nothing. (x
Where was the last place you went?: Toilet.
Do you look like your mummy or daddy?: Your mother lah.
Do you have any pets?: I have a tortise I think. I haven't seen it since last year though.
Do you smile often?: Of course!
Do you wish upon stars?: Zomg this is even more gay than the what's-your-favourite-number question.
Are you a friendly person?: Yeah everyone loves me.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night?: Yknow something? I've been sleeping on a mattress the past week because my dad went overseas and my retarded mom wants to save air-con so all of us tompang in her room every night. Sad, I know.
What colour shirt are you wearing?: White with two Nemos and coral reefs and seashells and bubbles and seaweed and a really big hole on the sleeve thanks to Rui LOL.
What were you doing at 12 last night?: Watching South Park.
Do you have more guy or girl friends?: Girl friends.
When was the last time you cried?: I don't want to remember.
Do you get angry easily?: That's relative.
What was your last thought before you went to sleep last night?: Screw mensus now I can't wank when I wanna humpf. :D
Take any vitamins?: Yes.
What are you about to do?: SHOULD I STUDY? I CAN'T EVEN DECIDE WHETHER I WANNA. Dx
Do you ever check your phone waiting for someone to call?: Don't be gay PLEASE?
Who was the last person who wrote this?: Bernice Chu.
Do you like the person?: Yeah she loves to hug me hees. :D
Rate your life on a scale of one to ten with ten being the fullest: Currently 6.5/10. It'll be better tomorrow. (:

Bye everyone, time to watch South Park! Season six already am I enthu, or am I enthu. :D

// Do I love you? Nah, not today.

Hi Mom,

I think you behaved in an extremely pathetic manner today. So you tell me that I can't stay over at my friend's house. Naturally, I asked why. The only thing you could come up with was that you didn't like it and it was a policy that we couldn't stay over at friends' places unless it was a chalet. Oh, you also threw in about my bad sleeping habits ie. waking up late that will cause my friends' parents to think that I'm a very discpicable person. Not everyone is a morning person like you, Mom. So stop thinking everyone's a bitch like you to judge someone's character on what time she gets up in the morning for Christ's sake.

And you know what's worse? The fact that you once told me that everything that happens for a reason and likewise, one must have a reasonable good explanation for his action, when you don't even practice what you preach. I asked you why I couldn't stay over and you conjure up some bullshit that didn't even make sense, let alone justify your decision. You know, if you had told me that it was because you were scared that (touch wood) my friend's dad/brother would get horny and rape me or something, I'd have accepted it. Just that my friend's dad left the country yesterday and yet you didn't allow me to go so there must be something more than that right? Are you hiding something from me, Mom?

Oh, and guess what, you DID tell me that was the reason a long time ago. So what if I tell my friend about it?Why must you get pissed and scold me for being so stupid for doing that? Has it ever hit you that your reason is so bizzare; that you're the stupid and unreasonable one? And that it made me angry that you can even possibly think that my friends' dads/brothers will act that way. You're a goddamn freak and a rightdown bitch. I can't believe I advised a friend who wanted to run away that her mom probably did stuff because she has reasons and that it was for her daughter's own good, and that if she'd just ask her why, she'd tell her. Now I take back my words because I realise even my own mother won't do it. Fuck.

The reason why you're pathetic? Because you can't even work things out with your own daughter. You have to call your husband who's working his ass off in another country and scream to him on the phone that his daughter's becoming stubborn and defiant and that you're going to have a nervous breakdown because of her. This is the fifth time you've done it and guess what, all of us know you're the one who's whacked and that we'd just have to endure all your moodswings. You don't know that your husband tells us to just control ourselves from fighting with you because you always want to win and we have to keep you happy just before he starts scolding us the way you want him to. Even the man you love knows your flaws but he's helpless in that department to change you because YOU are stubborn and always think you're right.

You know sometimes I really hope that everyone gives up on you and that my dad walks out of the house and we all follow just so we can prove that you can't win all the time. But it's too bad that I love you cause you're my mother. Looks like I'll have to restrain myself from screaming back at you whenever you start picking fights with me and just be satisfied with counting down the years when I can finally do what I want and when whatever you say will mean nothing but trash to me no more.

Sincerely yours,

Your god-forsaken daughter