// Dried up, tied and dead to the world.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just really plain stupid like everyone seems to think.

My heart aches every time you go through a depression spell because I don't know what words I can use to cheer you up.

When you told me you didn't feel like replying my messages asking if you're alright, I escaped to the toilet to inflict pain on myself 10 minutes before my Chinese oral exam.

The emotional pain, coupled with confusion and frustration consumed me and I broke down in public on that same day.

For the first time in 18 months, I turned to God and prayed for Him to help you.

I skipped my school's cross-country to travel halfway across the country to bake brownies for you.

I go all the way out to get tickest to one of the most anticipated school events so we could go together.

I missed it when you didn't feel like going to keep you company at home even though I could've gone with someone else but yet I didn't because I know I won't enjoy myself there as much as I would if you went with me.

There hasn't been a minute that's passed without me thinking of you. There hasn't been a moment that's happened without me worrying for you and your future. There hasn't been a night where I don't rack my weary mind thinking of plausible advice I could give you to motivate you to study harder. There hasn't been a day since the time I knew you that I didn't stop loving you, albeit all the scuffles and misunderstandings that happened.

And then you tell me you're worried for your ex because she's sad all the time.

It's either I'm so professional at hiding my feelings and facial expressions, or the fact that you're blind to everything I've done for you. Because I cried in your bed with you lying next to me and you didn't even know.

Oh fuck this let's get straight to the point shall we? You just don't give a shit about me.

Something tells me that I should just give up and stop yearning for your happiness at the expense of mine. Yet I know you're too special to let go, and the possibility of erasing you from my life appears too unbearable for me to consider the former because I simply cannot live without you.

What a fucking stupendous vicious cycle.

// Dried up, tied and dead to the world.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just really plain stupid like everyone seems to think.

My heart aches every time you go through a depression spell because I don't know what words I can use to cheer you up.

When you told me you didn't feel like replying my messages asking if you're alright, I escaped to the toilet to inflict pain on myself 10 minutes before my Chinese oral exam.

The emotional pain, coupled with confusion and frustration consumed me and I broke down in public on that same day.

For the first time in 18 months, I turned to God and prayed for Him to help you.

I skipped my school's cross-country to travel halfway across the country to bake brownies for you.

I go all the way out to get tickest to one of the most anticipated school events so we could go together.

I missed it when you didn't feel like going to keep you company at home even though I could've gone with someone else but yet I didn't because I know I won't enjoy myself there as much as I would if you went with me.

There hasn't been a minute that's passed without me thinking of you. There hasn't been a moment that's happened without me worrying for you and your future. There hasn't been a night where I don't rack my weary mind thinking of plausible advice I could give you to motivate you to study harder. There hasn't been a day since the time I knew you that I didn't stop loving you, albeit all the scuffles and misunderstandings that happened.

And then you tell me you're worried for your ex because she's sad all the time.

It's either I'm so professional at hiding my feelings and facial expressions, or the fact that you're blind to everything I've done for you. Because I cried in your bed with you lying next to me and you didn't even know.

Oh fuck this let's get straight to the point shall we? You just don't give a shit about me.

Something tells me that I should just give up and stop yearning for your happiness at the expense of mine. Yet I know you're too special to let go, and the possibility of erasing you from my life appears too unbearable for me to consider the former because I simply cannot live without you.

What a fucking stupendous vicious cycle.