// Help me help me help me God.

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

- Matthew 5:11-12

What do you do if someone you love is that persecutor? Do you forsake him and leave him to be judged by God, or help him understand His goodness and love Him together? Because circumstance-wise, the former seems so much more suitable, and I'm gonna need one mother of a miracle to even get the ball rolling on the latter.

:(

// Traveling alone

This is the first time I'm blogging in two months and it's not a very good sign because I don't blog unless I feel there's nothing else I can do to kill time. No one reads this anymore I bet. Since I told everyone who asked me to update that I don't blog anymore.

Anyway I feel very empty now because I left my Econs IA 4 draft on my table and the final is due on monday. I was planning to do it tonight and give it to my Econs tutor who's coming tomorrow but of course my absent-mindedness proved otherwise. Didn't bring home my GCD either, so can't catch up on Statistics homework. Sigh.

I want to end my life. Not in the slash-wrist/hang-self/jump-from-50th-storey-building kind of way. More of praying and hoping I get murdered or knocked down by a car. And if possible, slip into a six-month coma so I have one more year to finish this retarded IB course. I'll enjoy sleeping everyday for sure.

There's no direction I can take because I just can't see it. Blindness; not ignorance I must stress. Of course, I want to follow God's plan and everything, but I don't know how to see what He wants. It's damn weird. I want to be a puppet and let Him control my strings because I have no motivation to pursue my non-existent dreams. I really don't have any clear goals now except to finish my education, go on long holidays with Liak or some close friends and just catch up on my sleep. Frankly, that's all I want now.

May God clear my foggy vision and provide me the gift of sight, for I've been sleepwalking through my life. Not a very convenient time to feel like this given that my IB exams are the end of this year and many deadlines and more assignments are approaching.

Let's see if tonight's Mr Bean's Holiday will cheer me up a bit.

// Help me help me help me God.

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

- Matthew 5:11-12

What do you do if someone you love is that persecutor? Do you forsake him and leave him to be judged by God, or help him understand His goodness and love Him together? Because circumstance-wise, the former seems so much more suitable, and I'm gonna need one mother of a miracle to even get the ball rolling on the latter.

:(

// Traveling alone

This is the first time I'm blogging in two months and it's not a very good sign because I don't blog unless I feel there's nothing else I can do to kill time. No one reads this anymore I bet. Since I told everyone who asked me to update that I don't blog anymore.

Anyway I feel very empty now because I left my Econs IA 4 draft on my table and the final is due on monday. I was planning to do it tonight and give it to my Econs tutor who's coming tomorrow but of course my absent-mindedness proved otherwise. Didn't bring home my GCD either, so can't catch up on Statistics homework. Sigh.

I want to end my life. Not in the slash-wrist/hang-self/jump-from-50th-storey-building kind of way. More of praying and hoping I get murdered or knocked down by a car. And if possible, slip into a six-month coma so I have one more year to finish this retarded IB course. I'll enjoy sleeping everyday for sure.

There's no direction I can take because I just can't see it. Blindness; not ignorance I must stress. Of course, I want to follow God's plan and everything, but I don't know how to see what He wants. It's damn weird. I want to be a puppet and let Him control my strings because I have no motivation to pursue my non-existent dreams. I really don't have any clear goals now except to finish my education, go on long holidays with Liak or some close friends and just catch up on my sleep. Frankly, that's all I want now.

May God clear my foggy vision and provide me the gift of sight, for I've been sleepwalking through my life. Not a very convenient time to feel like this given that my IB exams are the end of this year and many deadlines and more assignments are approaching.

Let's see if tonight's Mr Bean's Holiday will cheer me up a bit.