// The town that you live in

It's so sad that I've been feeling the same way as I felt when I typed my previous post a month ago.

The sky this afternoon was awesome. It was dark, cold and windy, like the calm before a storm kind of thing. Fuiyi and I were leaning against the railings musing about how blissful it would be for a hurricane to form right where we stood and take us away from reality. It really felt like it was the end of the world and I was ready to welcome any natural catastrophe that was liable to happen.

But of course of its retardedly safe geographical location, Singapore reigns untouched. Pffft.

I have this sudden urge to delete my friendster account. It all seems so unreal and serene. Like I've lived a past life during my secondary school days. Looking back these couple of years, I really don't see the point in living any further.

In fact, I think 18 years old is the prime age to die. You're at your peak - you've matured, fell in and out of love, made friends, went on nice holidays, finished what MOE has drilled into your reluctant but (hopefully) intelligent minds, did nine years of NAPFA, gone to a club/pub, smoke/drink and get drunk, broken the law etc. You don't have to take your A's or IB exams, you don't have to worry about getting into whichever university course you (or your parents) want, you certainly don't have to fight with the masses of uni grads for high-end jobs, you don't have to deal with societal hypocrites and evil bosses, you don't have to look for spouses, you don't have to worry about improving your sex drive, you don't have to build a family, you don't have to fret about your spouse having an affair, you don't have to worry about your children's future, you don't have to buy tonics to keep yourself healthy, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF DYING.

The only reason why I'm living now is that God obviously wants me too and I'm happy enough to serve Him and tell everything else who's against this notion to screw off. 'Cos personally, God has never shortchanged me and well, humans tend to disappoint (that's including myself since I'm guilty of doing it too many times).

I still want to die though. Poo.

// The town that you live in

It's so sad that I've been feeling the same way as I felt when I typed my previous post a month ago.

The sky this afternoon was awesome. It was dark, cold and windy, like the calm before a storm kind of thing. Fuiyi and I were leaning against the railings musing about how blissful it would be for a hurricane to form right where we stood and take us away from reality. It really felt like it was the end of the world and I was ready to welcome any natural catastrophe that was liable to happen.

But of course of its retardedly safe geographical location, Singapore reigns untouched. Pffft.

I have this sudden urge to delete my friendster account. It all seems so unreal and serene. Like I've lived a past life during my secondary school days. Looking back these couple of years, I really don't see the point in living any further.

In fact, I think 18 years old is the prime age to die. You're at your peak - you've matured, fell in and out of love, made friends, went on nice holidays, finished what MOE has drilled into your reluctant but (hopefully) intelligent minds, did nine years of NAPFA, gone to a club/pub, smoke/drink and get drunk, broken the law etc. You don't have to take your A's or IB exams, you don't have to worry about getting into whichever university course you (or your parents) want, you certainly don't have to fight with the masses of uni grads for high-end jobs, you don't have to deal with societal hypocrites and evil bosses, you don't have to look for spouses, you don't have to worry about improving your sex drive, you don't have to build a family, you don't have to fret about your spouse having an affair, you don't have to worry about your children's future, you don't have to buy tonics to keep yourself healthy, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF DYING.

The only reason why I'm living now is that God obviously wants me too and I'm happy enough to serve Him and tell everything else who's against this notion to screw off. 'Cos personally, God has never shortchanged me and well, humans tend to disappoint (that's including myself since I'm guilty of doing it too many times).

I still want to die though. Poo.